Humans are funny creatures. One minute their a tiny baby full of rolling, sleeping and feeding. A smudge in your life that can't move beyond the space of a rug. The next they are a walking, running, 500 expressions in a day toddler.
I passed Orlando a strawberry in the car the other day and he said "yummmmmm" after he bit into it. He knows which buttons to press for the lift at the supermarket and I cheer him on when he does it. He'll wail away like the world is about to end - without tears, all for show to be allowed to stand on the dining table. Mum knows best though, for now. In the morning I pick up glasses from beside the bed, hide the remote controls - Orlando proofing is necessary and just a part of the morning ritual. Recently he refused to be fed anymore and will now only take food in hand sized pieces or attack a bowl of yogurt and paint the floor, walls and himself with it. It has made feeding time easier in some aspects (he'll do it himself) but harder in others (it takes an hour).
There are days when Hamish gets home from work and I literally go into the bedroom and stare at the ceiling for 15 minutes, silence is a massive, massive virtue. Sometimes I have a good cry because honestly it's the best thing to do. The past few weeks have leant themselves to many hot, heavy tears because of extenuating circumstances. It can be damn hard work some days but it's also the most cut to your bones, rip your heart out of your chest in love you will ever be in your life. It makes the somewhat testing times easier, at the end of the day.
Orlando still wakes up occasionally at night, sometimes for a cuddle, often for a drink and a nappy change. As an adult I often need a sip of water and a visit to the toilet, so it seems only fitting that he does too. The other night he couldn't calm down after waking himself up so I put him on my chest and patted him saying "shhhhh, shhhh" he settled in minutes. It was beautiful.
I keep saying to Hamish "I can't wait until...." which has me kicking myself, we need to live more in the moment because these days, these moments - they amaze me.