Well, I'm back at work very, very soon. I've got mixed feelings about the inevitable return. I'm scared, excited, happy, sad. I guess so much has changed since I was last there, it will be different in so many ways. I can't WAIT to be working with my friends again, the adult contact will be invigorating!
While on leave I've had a lot of time to think about my value in the workplace, from my colleagues point of view, my point of view, etc. During the career I've chosen there have been many moments of self doubt. I think for anyone being valued, respected and appreciated is of the highest importance in all aspects of life. When you're not it's crushing, debilitating and extremely counterproductive. I'm increasing my workplace value by returning to study soon, it's an exciting and necessary change. Being reminded that you're at the bottom of the food chain isn't fun, I'd like to be more in the middle or at the top haahahahahahaa - look out! I want my little boy to be proud as punch of me too. I'd also like to know I can be a big financial contributor to the family if anything ever went awry.
That said though.... A part of me never, ever, ever wants to return to the world of normal work. I mean, let's be honest, if I could be at home AND pull an income viable to support my bills then I would. It breaks my heart to think I'll be leaving little Orlando. Thankfully it will be while he's dreaming and when he wakes up in the morning I'll be right there for him. Hopefully he won't know any better for a while.
I'll tell you, the butterflies in my tummy increase just thinking of the hours I'll be doing. Yet, it's all working towards a bigger picture and an exciting next few months and I can't complain about that. Work, study a baby. It's all happening here!