Before the epidural went in I had to finally get undressed and put a hospital gown on. Up until this moment I was still wearing an old long grey singlet and an old cotton kaftan. Comfort clothing. My underpants had long been abandoned when my obstetrician broke my waters. Joy, oh joy there was no pad down below just an absorbent piece of paper, like a drape, which sat under me. The midwives would change this regularly as it would get pretty uncomfortably soaked very quickly, giving birth really isn't glamorous. When I finally got off the bed after Orlando was born I realised how much blood there must have been, not that I saw it in it's entirety, but I saw enough.
My darling midwives helped me with my IV lines to thread my tops and my bra off and put my gown on. Looking back that was the last time I was in bed without a bra - I miss those days!
Then the anaesthetist was back. He told me to sit on the edge of the bed and curl my spine over. Then he started prepping my back for the insertion of the epidural.
While all this was happening I was having the most crushing, extremely deep, kneading pain. It was excruciating. But there was a light at the end of the tunnel, my epidural. My focus at that stage was literally the epidural and breathing through the contractions. Hamish stood in front of me and I gripped onto his hands like my life depended on it cutting off all the circulation while a contraction was in full swing. Oh my darling Hamish, I couldn't have done it without him. There was no yelling at him or swearing, he was my rock through labour. Neither of us really knew what to do but at the same time he knew exactly what to do. Amazing.
The anaesthetist told me he would put the epidural in between contractions but first he had to numb the area with a local anaesthetic. I'll tell you now, I didn't feel a thing. Not the anaesthetic, not the epidural going in - nothing. One minute I was squeezing the life out of Hamish's hands as a contraction ended, the next I was sitting while the epidural went in and then another contraction came on and the procedure was over. The anaesthetist and my midwives helped me lay down and then he left the room to write his notes and get some ice to check the level of the epidural and if it had worked.
This is where it didn't go so well. The anaesthetist returned to the room to check my dermatome levels. I could still feel the ice, it wasn't a strong feeling but it was there and the contractions were getting worse. He decided he needed to take the epidural out and go in again and also insert a spinal block. I told him to do what he needed to do, do anything to take the pain away and he promised to do it quickly.
I've got to say that at this point the pain had hit it's pinnacle. There is nothing I can write to reiterate how bad it was at this stage, I'm not going to sugar coat it. Everyone is different and dear God I admire a woman that can make it past this point with no pain relief or even just injections or gas. Hats off to you because there is no way I could. It was at this time that I started telling Hamish I couldn't do it anymore, I just couldn't. He said he was so proud of me and knew I could do it but no amount of his encouragement and love could over power the physical pain I was experiencing.
The anaesthetist returned to the room and I asked him to please hurry, begged him to do it quickly. I remember gripping on to Hamish's hands as the next contraction started to set in thinking I was going to die. At that point I literally thought I would die.
But I didn't.
The second epidural went in, then the spinal block and almost instantly the pain was gone. The words "thank you" kept tumbling out of my mouth the gratitude I had for the anaesthetist was so immense. Hamish said you could see the stars and love hearts flying out of my eyes, my anaesthetist was my hero. He left the room once again to write his notes and the midwives helped me lay down, this time I was ready to sleep. The anaesthetist came in one last time and apologised profusely for the problem with the first epidural. He didn't need to though, he did everything right. The epidural was working to an extent but not nearly enough to give me the pain relief I needed. Then he told me to sleep and left the room. Finally it was quiet.
We must have been in a deep sleep for a half an hour when my obstetrician and midwives came back to the room to check on me. An examination down below, a change of the absorbent paper to freshen me up and I was told that in an hour and a half I would start pushing.
What??!
Pushing?!
When did this happen and how did I get to this point?!
I was too excited but knew I had to sleep. So everyone left the room, except Hamish and we slept. A whole beautiful hour and a half of sleep. All of a sudden it was 1pm and the widwives were back in the room, my obstetrician was coming back at 2 and they were going to start my pushing before he arrived.
It was all very quick. One moment I was asleep, the next I was getting ready to push. I asked Hamish to get the Chicken-In-A-Biscuits I had brought so I could eat some crackers and also asked the midwives for some ginger ale. I was pretty nauseous again at this stage and very spaced out from all the medication. Heaven knows why I thought Chicken-In-A-Biscuit would be a good idea, I don't even eat them normally. Nevertheless I had a couple of biscuits and a big drink of dry ginger ale and I was ready to push.
To Be Continued....
*I'm sorry the posts have been broken up it's A) because I find it easier to write just a part of the story, it's hard juggling a baby/house/blog and B) I want to write the story in detail so I can look back on it and remember exactly what happened. Thank you for putting up with the "To Be Continued" endings. xox